God is in your head.

so in the toronto star today, a revolutionary idea - a supposition that God doesn't exist!

my God..er, i mean, my Golly.. can it be?!

well, apparently about 150,000 years ago, us humans got smart enough to realize that one day, we'd all slither off this mortal coil.

that shit freaked them mofo's out.

so, to make themselves and future generations feel better, they made up God! well. some kind of primitive God. some kind of deity. Some kind of wonderful (an excellent yet flawed 80's film i might add).

turns out that when humans started believin in some kind of God, we essentially obtained a philosophical purpose. When that started happening, the chemical serotonin was released into the ol noggin, which relieves stress. Subsequent rituals and ceremonies added more serotonin, all the way up to the point where Father O'Malley boinks little Billy and the Church replies by saying that God Works In Mysterious Ways.

Don't get me wrong. I think the notion of God is basically good. God is like a giant white-bearded tylenol that helps comfort people, and how the hell can you knock that?..oops..sorry God..how the heck can you knock that?

In fact, i believed in God until that creepy head vampire in 28 Days of Night (masterfully played by Danny Huston) replied to one of his soon-to-be-victims who, in her terror, says "Oh god!".
Huston looks to the sky, perplexed by her statement, looks back at the girl and says:

"God? No God."

That's some cold shit.